


don't wanna sleep 'cause we're dreaming out loud

by mukeandziamgotmelike



Series: swan princes(ses) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Female Friendship, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Kinda?, Rule 63, Senpai-Kouhai Relationship, boobs, but nothing too extreme, gay girls being cute, tendou gets naked, very brief mentions of self harm/panic attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:38:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8085385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukeandziamgotmelike/pseuds/mukeandziamgotmelike
Summary: Satori was not gay. Nope. Never. Not her.
Bisexual, on the other hand, was another thing entirely.
alternately titled; tendou satori's itty bitty bisexual heart cannot handle the swans





	

**Author's Note:**

> What's this? Grace is procrastinating her kuroushou and next gen captains fics to write about Shiratorizawa girls?
> 
> Yes. Yes she is.
> 
> A huge thank you to my friend, who requested to be called "that one gay friend" for beta-ing this and giving me such nice words of encouragement, despite never watching hq!! before. In all honesty, this fic gave us both the gay feelings™, and that opinion Tendou has on deep voiced girls is one right out of my own brain. Like, I really love girls. I tried kind of a different writing style for this, so I hope that you enjoy it!
> 
> Title is from AM by One Direction.

Satori was not gay. Nope. Never. Not her.

 

“You can come in, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

 

_ Bisexual _ , on the other hand, was another thing entirely.

 

“I  _ need  _ your opinion on this, since apparently my style is so horrendous.” 

 

Satori had known that she had a thing for girls since her first year of high school at Shiratorizawa. More specifically, her first year of volleyball at Shiratorizawa. It was no secret to her that she thought girls were hot. Tall girls, short girls, curvy girls, thin girls, popular girls, those girls that wore big sweaters and had their hair in messy buns all the time… 

 

All girls were cute; it was just an undeniable fact. How could someone  _ not  _ be attracted to girls?

 

“Okay! How do I look?”

 

And the girls on her volleyball team? Not doing much to counteract the belief.

 

It wasn’t necessarily their fault. Except, it kind of was. Satori was  _ positive  _ that Wakatoshi’s smile could cure cancer, and Eita’s eyes could cut through you like glass, and Hayato’s hair was softer than a baby blanket, and, and,  _ and _ -

 

Semi was standing in front of her, her dip dyed blonde hair lying gentle on her slim shoulders, a strangely hopeful look in those usual sharp golden eyes. She’s dressed in a black floral sundress, her hands fidgeting by her sides.

 

_ Fuck,  _ Satori thinks,  _ so damn cute. _

 

Of course, she’s too smart to say that out loud, so she shrugs. “Better than your normal style,” she muses. Semi’s perfect eyebrows furrow, and she’s pouting. Satori knows this to be her angry face. She’s seen it a lot in the past few years. “Excuse you, but  _ you’re  _ the one who picked this out. If you’re such a genius, then why this selection,  _ Satori _ ?”

 

Satori smiles, leaning forward and resting her chin on her hand. “Oh, so you’re trusting my judgement now, Eita-kun~? I’m flattered, really,” she says. Semi huffs, sitting down next to Satori on the small bench in the changing room and crossing her arms. 

 

“Look, Eita,” Satori says, dropping the sarcasm from her tone. “You didn’t really have to ask me to help you out here. I’m sure you could’ve -”

 

“Yeah, and go shopping by myself? Sure, I’ll get right on that, Tendou.”

 

Satori shakes her head, crisscrossing her legs and turning to Semi. “No, I’m saying you probably didn’t need to come here at all. Your style is fine,” she says, bringing her hand up to Semi’s face and making the other girl look at her. “Then why do you say it’s not?” Semi asks.

 

Satori feels horrible, because she just thinks Semi is  _ so damn cute  _ but she can’t just  _ say  _ that -

 

“Because you look too cute, honey.”

 

Fuck, she just said it. 

 

Semi’s eyes widen, and her cheeks bloom bright red before she looks away. She pushes at Satori’s arm. “You’re so damn gay, shut up,” she mutters. 

 

She buys the sundress, and wears it a lot.

 

\---

 

“Tendou Satori!” Satori looks up, and is able to catch a split glance of dark brown hair before Hayato, in all her glory, has knocked into Satori.

 

“Braid my hair?” Hayato asks, holding up a hairbrush and a ponytail holder in either hand, smiling innocently. Satori laughs and nods, sitting down on the floor with her back resting against the wall. Yamagata sits between her spread legs, handing the brush to Satori.

 

Satori really likes Yamagata’s hair. It’s soft, and shiny, and she looks like a girl straight out of a shampoo commercial. She has the bottom portion of her head shaved, but she manages to pull it off in a way that should be illegal. Satori feels honored that she can do this before all games and practices.

 

“How’s Cutie So-and-So?” Satori asks as she starts brushing Yamagata’s hair. The libero laughs, loud and twinkling, and Satori will  _ never  _ get tired of that sound. “You mean my imaginary boyfriend? He’s great, brings me food after practice on Fridays, love of my life,” she says. Satori smirks, putting the brush down and sorting out Yamagata’s hair to start braiding. “I’ll buy you food  _ everyday _ ,” she teases.

 

Yamagata laughs again. “Oh, I know you will Satori. I trust you more than my fake boyfriend any day.”

 

They fall into a comfortable silence, only broken by the sound of volleyballs hitting the floor as they warm up for their next match while waiting for the court to be freed. Satori ties off the braid, patting Yamagata’s back. “You’re good.”

 

Yamagata stands up, holding out a hand for Satori to take. “Help me with my stretches.”

 

And Satori is 100% for that, because even though Yamagata was a little vertically challenged, she did more squats than anyone on the team, and she was pretty well-endowed in the chest area. 

 

Yamagata sits down on the floor, spreading her legs out in front of her and putting her hands as close to her feet as she can. Satori pushes on her back, Yamagata’s hands stretching a few inches past her feet. 

 

Yamagata lets out a breath, and Satori flicks her braid. “You’re really flexible, like, what the hell,” she says. Yamagata laughs a little, the sound coming out muffled as her body is literally folded in half. 

 

The libero’s hand taps the floor, and Satori lets up on her back. “You’re really hot, Hayato,” Satori says, flicking Yamagata’s hair again. 

 

Yamagata laughs. “I could say the same about you, Satori.” She picks up a volleyball and tosses it to Satori. The redhead bumps it back at her, and they pass the ball back and forth normally.

 

Simply because in hindsight, it is.

 

\---

 

Reon’s eraser is in her mouth as she chews on it while looking over Satori’s homework. “Did I do good?” Satori asks cutely, biting her lip. Reon takes the pencil out of her mouth, and Satori’s eyes are drawn to her lips. 

 

She loves Ohira’s lips. Ohira likes to wear chapstick; Satori has never seen her lips being rough at all. She understands all the guys that confess to Reon, she  _ really  _ does; since Reon is super nice and really pretty and -

 

Wait, she’s talking. Satori supposes she should listen.

 

“This should be a negative, see? The subtraction sign distributes to both numbers, so the 8 becomes negative,” Reon explains gently. 

 

Ohira was sweeter than the sweetest chocolate Satori had ever eaten, smart enough to be in the top thirty students out of all the third years at Shiratorizawa, and so naturally pretty that it blew Satori away. She would rarely get angry; Satori had been on the same team with her for three years and had barely seen her get frustrated. And, despite Satori’s stupidest moments, Ohira would always smile kindly and get her back on track.

 

Reon is looking at her expectantly - probably has been for awhile - so Satori nods. “Yeah, I, uh - I think I’ve got it now,” she says, biting her lip again. Ohira frowns, looking like Satori’s mother when she had brought home the test that brought her to this impromptu tutoring session. “You bite your lip when you’re confused,” Ohira says.

 

Satori looks at her. She knows that Reon is pretty good at reading people - it’s one of the things that makes her  _ Reon  _ \- but she didn’t realize it was that noticeable of a habit. “I - I do?” Satori asks, playing dumb (not that she ever has to really  _ play  _ dumb, she thinks bitterly to herself). 

 

“Don’t worry. You’ll get this. You’re actually getting better - there were a lot less wrong this time,” Ohira promises, smiling kindly. A smile that makes Satori feel safe; a smile that looks like it could bring the sun out from behind the clouds. 

 

Satori smiles back. 

 

\---

 

Shirabu smells really good. 

 

Not that Satori made a  _ point  _ of smelling her, because that would be creepy, but Shirabu wears perfume without overpowering it. When she takes her hair out of her ponytail, it smells like flowers. She uses scented body wash and moisturizer that smells like orchids and coconuts.  

 

Another thing Satori loves, despite Eita’s firm disagreement, was Shirabu’s personality. Satori thinks she is  _ badass _ , a body as small as their libero’s filled to the brim with sass and rage.

 

Satori remembers witnessing the one time a guy tried to hit on her; one time at a tournament they participated in. It was downright frightening, the way that Shirabu told that guy off for being disrespectful and  _ if you want a girl to actually pay you some mind, maybe you should try paying your horrible personality mind first _ . 

 

Satori loved how calm their little second year setter could be, but how she could defend herself when she got pissed off.

 

Satori had witnessed this anger; not exactly directly, but when she was hanging out with Eita and could feel those brown eyes glaring at her friend from across the gym. 

 

But one thing that Satori would have never expected from this strong, independent,  _ very good smelling  _ setter, was a fear. 

 

Satori knew everyone had a certain fear. Something that could break them down like nothing else. Shirabu had never showed them a side like that before, which was what made Kawanishi coming to the third year’s room one night at their training camp as the thunder boomed outside more confusing. 

 

“Taichi? What’s -”

 

“Tendou-san, Kenjirou is freaking out, just, please come quick.”

 

Satori walks to the second year’s room, following a very frantic Kawanishi (she’s never seen her usual stoic kouhai care about someone so much). The sight she sees is surprising, but not one she would’ve never expected. Shirabu is sitting on the futon, her knees pulled up to her chest with her face resting on them. Her hair is still a little damp from her shower, and when she looks up at Satori, her fringe is in front of her eyes. 

 

“Tendou-san, you really d-don’t have to be here. I promise I’m -” A crack of thunder cuts her off as she lets out a small shriek. Kawanishi runs to her side, wrapping her arm around the smaller girl’s shoulders. Satori sits down at her other side, and just now notices the tear streaks on her cheeks.

 

“It’s okay to be scared, Kenjirou,” Satori says gently, trying to sound like Reon as much as possible. Shirabu just shakes her head, leaning closer to Kawanishi. “Senpai, I’m really sorry, you can go back to sleep. I’ll be fine,” Shirabu says. Satori is taken aback by that, because the only one of her kouhais that had ever called her senpai was her  _ darling  _ Tsutomu, and - 

 

Shirabu has grabbed on her arm, her legs swung in Satori’s lap, her head under the middle blocker’s chin. Satori still thinks her hair smells really good. “Actually,” Shirabu mutters. “Stay.”

 

Kawanishi’s lips turn up the slightest bit, and she goes back to her own futon which has been pushed up against Goshiki’s. “You’re okay, Kenjirou,” Satori whispers. Shirabu nods a little, her hands tightening on Satori’s shirt. “You’re okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Satori stays there the whole night, and when they wake up in the morning, she finds Kenjirou’s blushing face as she tries to deny that it ever happened completely adorable.

 

\---

 

It’s raining out. Not just a light drizzle; it is  _ pouring _ . Kenjirou and Taichi are going to walk home, despite Ohira’s worry. Satori watches from the side, just as worried as Ohira but not showing it.  _ Never  _ showing it. It’s an unspoken rule that the only third year allowed to dote over Kawanishi and Shirabu is Reon, and oh, does she take advantage of that.

 

When their current second years were first years, Satori remembers Kawanishi was shy. She didn’t say much now, but it was clear that she was more comfortable. She wore glasses all the time; had only recently gotten contacts to wear during volleyball. In school, she wore her glasses and a sweater that was at least two sizes too big for her. Satori occasionally sees her when she’s eating lunch with Shirabu, up on the roof. Sometimes they let Goshiki eat with them, which Satori is very grateful for. 

 

Right now, Kawanishi is not wearing a sweater. She has her skirt on with her school shirt, but this seems to be the one day she forgot her sweater. Reon is giving her hell for it, yelling about how  _ you’re going to get sick! We can’t have one of our smartest players not being able to play!  _ Kawanishi is looking down, her fingers fiddling in front of her waist. 

 

Satori launches off the wall she was leaning against, nearly sprinting off to the locker room. “Don’t you move an inch, Taichi! Senpai’s got you!”

 

Satori comes back with her own sweater, handing it to her kouhai with a big smile. “Here! It’s not much, but just so you don’t catch cold!” Kawanishi looks reluctant, but obviously wants to leave, so she takes the sweater from Satori’s hands and puts it on. It falls loosely around her chest and waist and the sleeves go past her hands. Kawanishi was thin; not as thin as Shirabu, of course, who was tiny and flat as a board, but had a figure the opposite of Satori’s, who prided herself in her curves.

 

“Just give it back to me whenever you can!” Satori says. Kawanishi nods. “Thank you, Tendou-san,” she says quietly. She pulls her ponytail holder out of her hair, letting her light brown hair fall across her shoulders. Shirabu takes her arm and opens her umbrella as they walk outside the gym. Reon calls for them to be careful, in her true mother hen fashion, then goes to stand next to Satori.

 

“You know you’re not getting that sweater back, right?” Ohira asks. Satori laughs and nods. “I know. It was only one from last year’s season; no big deal.” “Still has your name on the back,” Ohira smirks. Satori smiles. “I know. She’s adorable.”

 

The next day, Kawanishi is wearing the sweater again. Satori doesn’t expect to have it back by the time she graduates, or any time after that.

 

\---

 

“Senpai!” Goshiki shrieks, covering her eyes. Semi rolls her eyes. “Don’t mind, Tsutomu. It’s basically like looking at a shirtless boy,” she says. Satori flips her off. “Please put some clothes on, Tendou,” Wakatoshi deadpans from her locker. She takes her shirt off and Yamagata whistles, eliciting another squeak from their aspiring ace. 

 

“Wakatoshi-kun, you know you like what you see~” Satori teases, standing behind Ushijima, who shrugs. “I suppose that I do. But I don’t think Goshiki is all that comfortable with us yet,” she says. Shirabu nods. “Yeah,  _ Tendou-san _ . Not everyone wants to see you naked.” Satori pouts, taking the clothes that Reon has been holding out for about five minutes.

 

Once Satori is dressed, she walks over to their first year and pulls her hands away from her eyes. “It’s okay now, Tsutomu,” she smiles. Goshiki pouts. 

 

Goshiki is definitely one of Satori’s three favorite kouhai. She has the same hair that Satori did when she was younger; the bangs in the bowl cut that earned her ridicule and jeers until she discovered her own blocking technique. Satori saw a lot of herself in Goshiki, the bright eyes and the smile directed at Ushijima. 

 

Despite their similarities, Satori noticed many differences she and Goshiki had. Goshiki was more confident than Satori had been at her age, believe it or not, choosing to keep her hair and remain oblivious to the things people said. That, or she just didn’t notice. Satori would not be surprised.

 

“Senpai?” Goshiki asks, looking up at Satori with big, dark eyes. 

 

Goshiki isn’t all bones like Shirabu, nor is she as curvy as Yamagata. She’s tall, and still has baby fat on her face and thighs. She would pout when she poked at her legs or stomach after looking at Shirabu or Kawanishi; she would look at herself in the mirror for a little too long after seeing Semi flawlessly wing her eyeliner. 

 

These were the odd things that Satori noticed about Goshiki, and things that made her the most upset.

 

“You know, Tsutomu,” Satori starts, sitting down on the bench next to her kouhai and throwing an arm around her shoulder, “one day, when I leave, I’m going to need you to carry on my legacy of walking through this locker room naked. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” Goshiki nods fervently, letting out a firm, “Yes, Tendou-senpai!”

 

Satori hugs Goshiki, and the first year squeaks again before relaxing in her arms, resting her cheek on Satori’s shoulder. Her skin is very soft; baby soft, and Satori wonders if she moisturizes or if it’s just naturally like that. She’s assuming the latter. 

 

“Have fun, ladies!” Semi calls from the door that she’s holding open just for the sake of mocking, Yamagata laughing behind her and Ushijima giving a genuine wave. “Shall we go?” Satori asks, and apparently, the slight accent she put on is hilarious, because Goshiki lets out an adorable giggle. Satori stands up and holds out a hand for her kouhai to take. Goshiki giggles again, and she is just  _ so cute _ .

 

They walk out of the locker room with their hands joined, and Satori swings them between their bodies as they make their way to the train station, following after the rest of their team.

 

\---

 

There’s some awful American country music playing off of Reon’s speaker, and  _ everyone  _ knows the culprit.

 

Satori had been experiencing music during practices since she was a first year, when Yamagata had halfheartedly suggested it to their third year libero, who, as a person with a personality that just screamed  _ libero _ , thought it was an amazing idea. Especially as it was requested by her favorite kouhai. Shiratorizawa now had a communal playlist that people could add upbeat songs on that they could practice to. 

 

The playlist featured any alternative artist that Semi was interested in at the moment, pop songs from Yamagata, Reon’s strangely dark music, Satori’s anime openings, and… 

 

_ This _ .

 

Ushijima had a weird love of American country music. It was one of her quirky qualities that Satori found  _ all  _ of her teammates adored. Their first and second years had a firm belief that their super ace could do no wrong, and the current third years were way passed the line of friendship to actually judge her on anything. 

 

Ushijima’s love of country music was just one of the things to appreciate about her. Satori thought her smile could light up even the darkest room, and her face had that natural, undisputable beauty, and her body -

 

Well, Wakatoshi was really amazing. Satori decides to leave her thoughts at that.

 

Semi groans at the music change while Yamagata laughs at her pain. Reon rolls her eyes at the usual reaction. Kawanishi runs over to the speaker quickly and turns up the volume of the music before running back to her spot by the net. 

 

“Ushijima-san, give us that nice serve!”

 

And Ushijima delivers. Slams the ball to the other side of the court with a ferocity that sends chills down Satori’s spine. It has since day one, and she’s not looking to fight it. 

 

Despite how much Satori loves her entire team, she can’t deny that Ushijima holds a special place in her itty bitty bisexual heart. And she’s told her that before, so Ushijima  _ knows _ , so she guesses they’re kind of sort of dating?

 

Not that Satori is jumping to conclusions. All she’s saying is that they  _ have  _ held hands before (it is not the same as when she held Goshiki’s hand,  _ Eita _ ) and Ushijima lends her clothes to wear, and she bought her ice cream that one time, and -

 

There’s an excruciating pain pulsing in Satori’s face, and her hands fly to her head. She falls back on the floor, and the scrimmage going on around her stops. 

 

“Oh no, she’s bleeding!”

 

“Fucking hell, Wakatoshi, nice kill.”

 

“Shut up, Eita! She’s really hurt!”

 

“Satori?”

 

_ Is this how it’s gonna end? Hit in the face with a volleyball because I was thinking about my girl crush on Wakatoshi? _

 

“Crap, Satori, say something!”

 

_ I hope they write something cool on my tombstone. I can trust Eita with that, can’t I? _

 

“Satori, I’m really sorry.”

 

Satori looks up, snapping out of her thoughts. Her team is surrounding her, all having varying levels of concern on their faces. So far, Ohira is winning, but Goshiki is definitely putting up a fight -

 

_ Shit _ , are those tears in Wakatoshi’s eyes?

 

“Wakatoshi-kun, why are you upset?” Satori asks, sitting up. She can feel Ohira’s hand on her back. “I’m fine, it’s nothing I haven’t -”

 

“It’s not fine, Satori. I hurt you, I’m  _ so  _ sorry,” Ushijima’s deep voice cuts her off. Satori also thinks that Ushijima’s voice is amazing. Girls with low voices are great, and Satori would listen to her talk for hours on end -

 

_ Crap, stop zoning out. _

 

“If it makes you feel any better, you can come to the nurse with me?” Satori asks. Ushijima nods earnestly, looking completely and utterly for that. Semi hands her a few tissues, and Satori stands up. 

 

“It hit you in the forehead. Right around there,” Semi says, pointing to where Satori’s nose starts. “You’re gonna have a nasty bruise. It’ll be disgusting.” Satori smiles, because she knows that’s Semi’s way of saying she’s worried. She also knows that Semi will bring her arnica cream for the bruise and help her put foundation over it. 

 

Ushijima walks with her to the nurse’s office, holding her arm lightly; nervously. Satori holds the tissue to her nose, glancing over at the super ace occasionally. 

 

“You know, it’s not your fault, Wakatoshi.” Her voice is muffled. “I should’ve been paying more attention; I  _ did  _ zone out. So don’t beat yourself up -”

 

Then Wakatoshi’s lips are on hers, and Satori lets out a squeak of surprise because  _ what the hell Wakatoshi.  _ Ushijima pulls away, sighing. “I’m sorry, Satori, I don’t know where that came from. I just thought it would be appropriate, like in that one American movie you showed me…”

 

Satori doesn’t know what it is about that she finds so funny, but she erupts into giggles. The look on Ushijima’s face becomes confused, and Satori puts a hand on her shoulder. “Wa-Wakatoshi, don’t apologize. It’s completely fine. Just promise you won’t use American dramas for romance ideas ever again,” Satori laughs. Ushijima nods seriously, like she’s actually taking a note of it in her mind, which in all honesty would not be surprising. 

 

They walk back to the gym holding hands, and Satori finds that another thing she loves about Wakatoshi is the slight callouses on her hands from spiking.

 

\---

 

Satori knows that Eita spends quite a while doing her hair and makeup in the morning until she can look in the mirror and not feel insecure. She knows that Hayato gets her hair cut once every month, just so that the split ends don’t become noticeable and her undercut stays an undercut. She knows that Hayato will stay extra hours in the gym to work on her flexibility and endurance.

 

Satori knows that Reon is gentle, and she genuinely cares, and that she’s selfless enough to help anyone on their team who is close to failing, despite having to do her own schoolwork. She knows that Kenjirou smells really good, and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. She knows that Kenjirou looks at herself and thinks ‘ _ why can’t I look like Ushijima-san? _ ’. 

 

Satori knows that Taichi wears oversized clothes to hide her scars, be they visible or not, because she’s insecure about the things she’s gone through in her life. She knows that Tsutomu hates her squishy cheeks and the small amount of pudge that she has on her stomach. 

 

Satori knows that Wakatoshi wears big T-shirts and never wears skirts outside of school to hide the fact that she’s a double D and has thighs for days. She knows that the aversion to makeup is not because she wants to be ‘all natural’.

 

And, she’s found out, they know things about her, too. They know that she bites her lip when she’s confused or nervous. They know that in a room anywhere under 16° the tip of her nose and her fingers will be cold. They know that she can’t tan for shit; that if she’s outside without sunscreen she’ll practically burst into flames like a vampire. They know that when she acts like she’s okay with the title of ‘Guess Monster’, she internally loathes it, and just wants all remnants of anything like that to be gone. They know that she sometimes gets anxiety attacks as a repercussion of the way she was bullied when she was younger, and they know just how to make her feel better. They know about her bisexuality; about her and Wakatoshi’s relationship, and they don’t give a damn.

 

She loves them, and they love her, and that’s all she’s ever really needed.

 


End file.
